Prologue and First Two Chapters of Letting Go

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As I promised, here are the first few chapters of my new Romance novel. I am working hard to have it done and out for sale by the first of Sept.

Letting Go

By Jennifer Foor

Copyright © 2012 Jennifer Foor

All Rights Reserved

 

This book is a written act of fiction. Any places, characters,

 or similarities are purely coincidence. If certain places or characters are referenced it is for entertainment purposes only.

This book is not to be copied or shared.

Prologue

 

Tyler

I could not believe she had the nerve to break up with me and then cock block me like that. I had every right to be able to bang any girl I wanted to at this party. I was not going to let Savanna Tate dictate what I did. If she thought  I was going to sit around and wait for her to change her mind again, well she was wrong.

Savanna broke my heart. She was the only girl that I had ever loved and that I ever wanted to love.  All of our plans for college had been made together, and out of nowhere, she tells me we need to break up. That she needed time.

I got drunk. I cried to her. I begged her to take me back.

When Savanna made her mind up, she didn’t budge about it. All of my words meant nothing to her. She pretended like I didn’t matter. She avoided me. I had given her five years of my life and she wanted to throw it all away.  Her stupid notion being that we were in college and needed to focus on our education.  Who breaks up for that reason?

After staying in my room for over a week, my buddies on the team talked me into going to a few parties. I discovered that booze mixed with the smooth skin of an easy lay, made the pain easier. Problem was…it never made it disappear. .

I pulled my pants back on and started buttoning them, while the blonde chick behind me , who I think was named Heather or Danielle, still remained on the bed. “Sorry Babe, I gotta jet.”

I turned around to see her sitting up in only panties.  Her perky tits were something I would never forget. Next to her was the empty bottle of Jack that I had finished off myself.

She scrunched up her lips and rolled her eyes. “Whatever!”

I didn’t say anymore to her, in fact, there was nothing to say. She was just a meaningless fuck and she knew it. There was only one person I would ever love, and she had just caught me red handed with someone else.

I needed to find her, to tell her it meant nothing. She needed to know the truth before I lost her forever.

I ran down the stairs of the frat house looking for my ex-girlfriend, or my future wife, I hoped.

When I finally got into the main living area, it was so jammed packed with people, that I couldn’t find her. I ran into someone I recognized and grabbed them by the arm. “Hey, you seen Van?”

“She ran out of here crying dude.” He replied.

“Shit. When?” I asked.

“A few minutes ago.”

I ran away from him before even thanking him. I needed to talk to her. I wanted to know what her problem was. If she cared that much, than why did she end things? Why did she shut me out day after day?

I got to the front door. “Where are my keys?” I asked, noticing that my words were slurring.

A bunch of the football players crowded around me. “Let it go Ty. You two will be back to loving each other next week dude.” Michael the linebacker stated. He had also attended school with both Savanna and I. He knew of our unconventional relationship. In fact, none of our friends doubted that we would get back together, well except for Brina. She hated me since I started dating Savanna. She had problems sharing since we were kids.

I tried to push past Michael. “I am serious man, give me my damn keys.”

Gavin grabbed me by the arm and tried to lead me away from the front door. “Just stay here and sleep it off man. Everything will work out tomorrow. You are too wasted to drive.”

I cocked my arm back and punched Gavin in the face. He turned around just as Michael was attempting to grab my arms. “Give me my fucking keys Mike. I need to go find her. I really messed up this time.” I admitted.

Another group of peers came rushing toward the front door all trying to locate the hidden bag of keys. I noticed that Brina was in that group. “Where did she go Sabrina?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t tell you even if I knew. I am sure that it is your fault that she left. You should have seen the look on her face. Guess she caught your pathetic ass finally. Way to go asshole!” She said ignorantly.

“Fuck you!” I said as I rolled my eyes and walked past Sabrina and the gang of other people. When I got outside, I noticed quite a few kids I recognized standing around their cars.

“Hey, you guys seen Van?” I asked.

“She took off dude.” One guy said while standing outside of his vehicle.

I rushed over toward him. “Give me your keys.” I demanded.

“Hell no man. You reek of alcohol.” He stated.

I grabbed him by the neck. “Give me your Goddamn keys. Now.”

The guy, being much smaller, handed me his keys and I took off in his vehicle. Our college was located off the beaten path forty miles from our small country town. I knew that is where she would go. It is where she ran to every time we got into it.

She needed to understand that it was just sex. I was filling a void that she had left. She needed to know that she was my future.

I knew these roads like the back of my hand, but when I saw something running across the road, I slammed on my breaks.  The car swerved off the road and began rolling. Once it stopped, and I was upside down, I closed my eyes and just let go, my last thought being of Savanna.

 

  Chapter 1

Savanna

 

It’s been six months since Tyler had his accident. I still attend school, but barely go to my part-time job anymore. Most of my days are spent in a classroom and then the hospital.

If it weren’t for me, he would be okay.

The car was found in a ravine about three miles from the campus. After I left the party, I drove right home and slept in the old barn I had run away to a million times. I turned my phone off and had no idea anything had happened until the next morning. I had a zillion messages from people asking what happened and if Tyler ever found me. I was still so angry with him, so I didn’t bother calling.

That night I got a call from his parents. They police found the car lying upside down. Tyler was barely alive and taken by helicopter to a hospital capable of handling his severe injuries. Not only had he broken just about every bone possible, but it was also freezing that night and he had hypothermia. He never regained consciousness, and was finally transferred to a long-term coma ward.

The doctors ran a zillion tests and said that his brain was fully functioning, and that they were optimistic one day he would wake up. It was a forty-minute drive to the hospital, in which I took every single day. Even during the heaviest snowstorm, our town has seen in ten years, I went to sit with him.

I would read to Tyler and talk about all of the good times we had. We were best friends and lovers for so long, but somewhere down the road, something changed for me. Tyler and I had an unconventional relationship. We fought all of the time, because we loved each other so much. No matter what, we were always a couple and neither of us ever doubted that we would not end up together. Things had become strained for me though.  I couldn’t deal with college life, parties and schoolwork. Ty seemed to soak himself in it.  I made the decision to end things, temporarily of course, but he never understood.

His daddy was a farmer, like a full-fledged works the farm himself, farmer. His parents had been together since they were thirteen.  We had been together since we were fourteen. So naturally, Ty just always assumed that we would grow up and get married. When we started college, things became intense. Between the schoolwork, the new environment and his pledging with a fraternity, our priorities were not on the same page.

 When we entered into our second year at college, I began to really struggle. I figured if we just stopped worrying about “us” for a little while, I could focus on school and get through it, then eventually start our future together. I never broke up with him because I thought it would be forever. Tyler took it the wrong way from day one. His new friends, basically the football team, convinced him I was interested in someone else and that he should move on too.

They were wrong.

My main focus was school. My parents did not have money to pay for my tuition, so through scholarships and grants, I was able to attend college. I was required to maintain a certain grade point average and if it fell, I lost my ride.

On the day I found out about Tyler’s accident, my mother insisted on driving me all the way to the hospital.  I was in shock. Apparently, he had stolen a car and when they first discovered the accident, they didn’t know it was Ty. Finally, they found his wallet at the hospital and the police notified his family. Ty was not recognizable, and it wasn’t just from all the tubes and wires that were hooked to his body. His legs and arms were being propped up and they were covered in casts. He had a severe contusion on his head, and they had to shave his hair and operate to remove the swelling around his brain. His face was black and blue and both of his eyes were completely swollen shut, not that he ever opened his eyes.

I refused to leave when my mother left that night. Instead, I slept in a chair. I wasn’t supposed to, but the nurse was pretty nice and said that the more time I spent there, the sooner he might wake up. At first, I had this notion that if I stayed long enough he would open his eyes and I could tell him how much I loved him and that I would never leave again.

However, he never woke up.

His mother and father started to only visit on weekends. With him not being able to help and now having the hospital bills, they couldn’t afford to hire someone to work the farm while they sat at the hospital. I promised them that I would spend every day there, except when they came, just in hopes of seeing those brown eyes that I loved looking back at me.

My friends tried to get me to go out and get my mind off of things. My best friend Brina had been around for all of mine and Tyler’s ups and downs.  Our town was tiny and everyone knew everyone. We all even attended the same church when we were younger.

Ty was never Brina’s favorite person, but she would never want him to be like that. I refused her offers each and every time. My mother took me to see a shrink, claiming I was giving up on life. She didn’t understand that Tyler Mitchell was my life. I couldn’t let go, I wouldn’t.

The past six months had been hard for me. My professors were very lenient considering what I was going through, and I was the poster child for needing extensions, but I managed to keep up with my grades. I still had a few more weeks left before summer break. One good thing was that the hospital was about ten minutes from the campus.  After my classes, I would go straight to the hospital. Some of the nurses had been nice enough to bring a folding table for me to do my class work on.

For hours, day in and day out, I would sit there talking to him. Sometimes I would even study aloud with him. For my literature class, I would read everything aloud. I held his hands, kissed his face and cried against his chest, but he never even moved a finger. He just lay there lifeless, hooked up to machines.

When the accident had first happened, his parents were so kind to me, but as time passed, they began to blame me for everything. To say that I wasn’t their favorite person anymore was an understatement. The hardest part of that, for me, was that Tyler had bought me a horse a few years back that I happened to keep on his farm. When I made the drive home, I would always stop and see Daisy, my Morgan Quarter horse mix. She was only about sixteen hands high, but it was plenty enough for me, since I was only five three.

Besides Brina, Daisy was my only friend. People at college even stopped talking to me. It hurt so much and the worst part was that I knew it was my fault. I caused all of this to happen, and every time I looked at him lying there, hooked up to so many machines, it made me want to die myself.

My new shrink had prescribed me some antidepressants when I admitted to her that I had thought up a plan on how I was going to end my life. I had planned it all out so that it would die in Tyler’s arms at the hospital. I had even managed to swipe enough pills to do it. My confession did not go over well. I had to spend twenty-four hours in observation for starters, and continue with therapy indefinitely.

When I had suicidal thoughts now, I kept them to myself.

No matter what anyone says to me, I know I caused this. They can use every nice word known to man and candy coat their words, but it doesn’t matter. I broke Tyler’s heart and after a fight at a party, I ruined his life.

 

Chapter 2

Savanna

I had set up a makeshift study area at the hospital. Exams were a week away and I needed to get good grades on all of them.  The lighting was poor in the hospital room, and I could never get used to the damn beeping of the machines. I was halfway through reviewing my notes when I lay my head down on the desk. My body was over exhausted and I just wanted to take a nap.

I woke to a familiar voice calling my name. When I opened my eyes, I saw Ty trying to pull the wires off his face and body. I got up and ran over to the bed. “Oh my God, you’re awake. Ty, I missed you so much. I can’t believe you finally woke up. I am so sorry about everything. Please forgive me Ty. I never wanted us to be over.”

“Shh, don’t cry baby. What happened? What day is it?” He asked while looking around the room.

“It’s Friday. God Ty, it’s been six months. You were in a coma.”

“Stop playing baby.” He said as he laughed.

His eyes sparkled and I had forgotten how perfect they were. His dark eyelashes accented them as he blinked. “I’m not kidding. I have to get the doctor.” I said as I started to head out of the room.

“Wait! Please just come hug me.” He requested.

I rushed back to his side and reached my arms around him. When I placed my lips against his, I could feel the tears rushing down my face. I had missed him so much. Our celebratory kiss intensified and he pulled me up onto the bed with him. I didn’t care who walked in, I just wanted to be close to him, to feel him holding me. Our tongues met and mingled together and he reached his hands down the back of my shorts and grabbed my bare ass. He used his hands to grind me against his hardness and I gasped. I had waited so long to feel this again. I reached down and pulled up the hospital gown as he began tearing down my pants. Ty threw the thin white blanket over my back as I positioned myself over his rock hard shaft. He slid inside of me and we both moaned simultaneously at the feel of being together again. We began moving at a steady pace, when I lay my head on his chest and closed my eyes for second.

When I heard someone enter the room, figuring that it was just a nurse, I didn’t look up. I didn’t want anyone to tell me to stop. I didn’t even care if they called security. I had waited six months to touch the love of my life, no one could ruin this moment.

After at least four minutes of making mad passionate love in that hospital bed, I heard a man clearing his throat. I jumped up off of the desk and looked around the room. Ty was still hooked up to the machines and everything I had experienced had been a damn dream.

The guy cleared his throat again.

I don’t know why I did it, but I just sat there staring at him. He wasn’t a stranger; in fact, I had known him since I was around ten years old.  The dream was so fresh on my mind that I couldn’t let myself speak yet. I wanted to go back to sleep and see Ty. It had felt so real.

“I figured you’d be here.” The guy said rudely.

I finally let myself snap out of my fantasy. Seeing yet another rude person from Ty’s family was the last thing I needed. “Colton Mitchell, are you really going to be that way to me too?” I asked defensively.

“I aint got nothing to say to you Van. I wasn’t here. All I know is what my aunt and uncle tell me.” He explained.

I shut the book I had been looking at before I fell asleep. “So what are they saying now?” I asked.

Colt stood in front of me. He had removed his dirty baseball hat and held it in his hands. He was even more handsome than a couple years ago when he last came to visit. When we were kids, he would make fun of me for having a gap between my teeth and a flat chest. He called me the ugliest boy in town. I was a late bloomer, I couldn’t help that, but the braces did solve the tooth issue.

Now Colt, well, all the girls liked him. He was older than all of us, at least by three or four years. His teeth were always perfect and he had the body of a man by thirteen years old. Now his shoulders were broader and under that old t-shirt was probably the finest chest this state had ever seen. When we were younger his hair was longer, but now it was only long enough to barely show out of the bottom of his hat. It was messy and I could see the shape of his hat still in it.

I didn’t know the last time he had seen Tyler, but he would be surprised how muscular he had gotten before the accident. Being on the college football team caused him to bulk up a bunch and by the first game; he was thirty more pounds of muscle. They shared the same hair color. It was dark in the winter, but from working the crops, got lighter in the summer.

I noticed I was daydreaming about the Tyler I missed, and gave my attention back to Colt.

He shrugged and looked down at his cousin in the bed. “You already know what they are saying Van. Can you blame them?”

Tears filled my eyes. Tyler was lying lifeless, I had lost him, and now I had lost them. The family that I had loved as my own for so many years. “No.” I covered my face with my hands. The tears poured out and I could feel my body shaking. “I am so sorry.” I said in a muffled voice.

“Ah Hell Savanna. I don’t know what to say to you. I sure as heck don’t feel like hearin ya cry.” His southern accent was so strong, but I guess that is what happens when you live in Kentucky.

I stood up and started grabbing my things. “Maybe I should just go then, because all I seem to do is cry and ruin people’s lives.”

I started walking past Colt. His strong hand grabbed my wrist. “You don’t have to leave.” He whispered, seeming unsure of his reaction.

I stood close to him and looked up into his eyes. They were still that light green that I always remembered. His brow was creased in a way that made me think he was in pain. He had thick dark eyebrows that made his eyes seem even lighter and accentuated his frustration with this situation.

“If I could take things back, I would. I never wanted this Colt, I swear.” I confessed.

He leaned over the bed, looking at Tyler. “Yeah, I reckon it was just bad timing. I know he liked his Jack. His momma and daddy didn’t know about that. I don’t blame ya, but I would like the whole story. The full one.” He replied.

I nodded my head. “Okay, but not here. I don’t like talking about it around him. I know it sounds silly, but I feel like he hears me. I don’t want to upset him.” I admitted.

“Fine, I have the truck. You want some dinner? I got off a plane a couple hours ago and haven’t had nothin to eat all day.” He confessed.

I hadn’t gone anywhere with anyone for so long. At first, I wanted to say no, but this was Colt, someone who knew me before I was with his cousin. He knew I wouldn’t hurt anybody intentionally. “Okay, we can grab something to eat.”

I leaned over and kissed Ty before following Colt out of the hospital room. When we got outside, I recognized the old pickup truck immediately. It was Ty’s fathers. I assumed that Colt borrowed it to come see Ty. We both climbed into the old clunker and headed down the road.

Tyler pulled over at an old diner on the edge of town. They were known for being open twenty-four hours and having the best pies around. We found a small booth in the far corner of the place and sat down facing one another. Once the waitress got us drinks and we both ordered food, Colt got right down to business.

“You gonna start explainin’ soon?” He asked.

I played with my paper place mat, never looking up at his face.  My sexual dream with Ty was still fresh in my head and I felt myself blushing just thinking about it. I took a deep breath and focused on the guy sitting across from me. The one that made fun of me since I was around ten. “A month before the accident I told Tyler that I needed some time. I was struggling with my courses and figured if we just spent some time apart I could focus better. I swear it was not because I didn’t want to be with him. My feelings for him never changed.” I promised.

Colt took a sip of his beer. “Did you explain that to him?”

“Of course I did, but he just assumed it was something else. Anyway, after a week or so, he stopped calling me so much. I missed him, but I figured he was just giving me some space.” I fell silent for a moment, because the next part of the story was like stabbing myself in the heart.

Before I could even open my mouth, I felt the tears building in my eyes. “He found other ways to deal with the breakup.” I confessed in a quiet voice, just hoping he understood.

“Other ways? Or someone else?” He asked calmly.

“Yes.” Was all I could get out.

Colt took another sip of his beer. I still couldn’t look at him. “Are ya sayin’ he had another woman?”

“Women. Plural.” I said with my hands over my face. This person across from me knew me and I should have been okay with letting him see me like this, but I was so ashamed.

“I don’t blame him. I can see how he would be all messed up over you.” He blurted out.

I removed my hands and looked right at him. One of his eyebrows was cocked. “What is that supposed to mean?” I asked angrily.

He held up his beer to notion to our waitress that he needed a refill, then he leaned in closer to me. “All I am sayin’ is that I can see how the breakup would hurt him. You both have been together a long time. He was just tryin’ to forget ya that’s all.”

I hated him. I hated his words, even though I knew he was just being honest. I wanted to get up and leave. He had to know how awful he was making me feel.

“So, what happened that night? You catch him with his pants down?” He asked.

“Yeah, I did.” I swallowed back the tears and tried so hard not to picture the last time I spoke to Tyler. I could smell the liquor from the time I opened that bedroom door. His little blonde conquest was sprawled out on all fours on the bed and he was on top of her, riding her into tomorrow. I shook my head. “His pants were off actually and he was very drunk. He tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t stand there watching them together. I just needed to leave, to get as far away from Tyler as I could.”

When I stopped talking, Colt started. “Let me guess. He got in that car and went lookin’ for ya. Ya see, alcohol is a funny thing. It makes you do things you wouldn’t never do, but it always makes you tell the truth. It heightens your emotions.”

“I get it, really I do. I know it was my fault. If I would have just stayed….”

He cut me off. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong Van. He messed up. Sure, you broke his heart, probably tore it into pieces, but he made his bed that night.”

I looked up at him. I was shocked. “You believe me?”

“Look Van, it is easy for my aunt and uncle to blame someone. They see their son and have no answers. You can’t blame them.” He explained.

“I miss them though. I miss them so much Colt. They were a big part of my life. I feel so empty without all of them. I feel like I don’t want to live anymore.” I confessed.

He reached over and pulled my hand away from my face. “Don’t ever say you don’t want to live.”

He was serious. He face was stern, almost like a parent to a child.

I quickly changed the subject. “So what are you here for Colt? Are you just visiting Ty?”

“Na, I am here to help with the summer crops and some of the livestock. Uncle Bo can’t do it himself. Dad has plenty of help at home, so I offered to stay through the harvest.”

“Can I ask you something?”

He stared at me for a second and took another sip of his new beer. “Shoot!”

“Do you think you can help me see Daisy? I am not really welcome at the farm right now and I miss her something fierce. I don’t want to sneak around, but I think it would be better if I visit when they are not there.” I admitted.

He waited a minute. “I reckon I can do that. Just give me your number and I will text ya.”

I had to laugh. “A country boy like you knows how to text?”

He gave me another cocked eyebrow. “Look here Van. I may be from the country but it aint the ice age darlin’. We have indoor plumbing at home as well.” He added with a wink.

We didn’t say much more when our food came and as soon as we were done, we both paid and went our separate ways, once he dropped me back off of course.

I watched him pull away before getting into my own car and calling it a night.

About jennyfoor

Hi, I'm the Best Selling Author of The Mitchell Family Series, Love's Suicide, The Kin Series, The Bankshot Series, Hope's Chance, Diary of A Male Maid, Twinsequences, and lots of upcoming TBRs. I like to write steamy books with lots of drama and a little fun. Contemporary Romance is my main genre. Sometimes my imagination is twisted and provides for amazing stories that I share with the world.

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